letting go.

she never thought learning to fly would be so easy in the end.

"have your way.
have your way"
she whispered
and felt the wind carry her.

the more she tasted the words
and felt them in her mouth,
the more free she felt.

felt them shaping her life,
becoming flesh in her.

and she embraced this exciting journey
to the centre of The Will.

a reminder.

"so, come in"
were the words that interrupted the noise of frustration
that was echoing around and in her.

"it is my task to finish the work I have started.
not yours"

still fighting, she moved closer,
to hear better and let the words
wash over her need to fight.

"come down from your judgement seat
and take the place I have made for you.
It is only I, who can mature your soul.
Do not despise that, which is immature
and unfinished in yourself.
It is with compassion that I look in to you,
and a place of compassion where I meet you."

something in his words, and his way of proclaiming it
over her broke the shame.
She felt warmed, freed and nourished
by these words of truth.

first lines.

"it is time to move on", he stepped in.

"trusting is far from knowing, my child" he continued
with wrinkles of laughter in his eyes.

she felt drawn to nod, as to signal that
the statement had been received and understood.
though in truth, the nod felt like lying,
as she knew,
she had barely began to see the weight of the words.

with a gaze, the remission and confirmation came again,
washed over her.

with a mere look he revealed
the uncertainties, fears, frustrations, pride
and drew them to the surface,
made it possible to be clean.
with a mere look he entered in,
made it possible for the trusting to begin.

entering

after the first steps over the threshold
there was a long silence.

a new page, with nothing written on it.

it made her to think that maybe she had made a mistake.
maybe this was the wrong corridor,
or maybe,
even a more comforting, safe thought,
she was not supposed to take the step after all.
not so deep anyways.

but then,
she remembered the whisper, the invitation she had heard so many times.

wait.
time is a great refiner.
wait.
with time Ill draw you in.
wait.
I have made all things beautiful in their time.

so she decided to risk.
to wait. and trust.

a promise

A new generation I am forming.
It is in its making,
and all things I will do well.

I am the Creator, the Maker of all,
and I myself blew the spirit to the first man ever in the garden of Eden.

And I will restore the intimacy I had with him.
For I have given it to you,
through the blood of my son,
I have given it to you.

So come to me my child, I will satisfy all your longings.

And my child, I wait for the day,
as all the creation sighs,
so sigh I.
To meet you face to face,
to place my bride in front of the throne.
And look, that is my goal.
In all, my purposes work for the good of those I love and who love me.

And this generation will follow me.
It does not care for the signs and wonders that will follow them,
for the only thing that they carry,
is my glory.
The only place they breathe their air,
is the relationship.
For I and my Father are one and so have I called my disciples to be one as well.
One with me, One with my Father and one in mind and heart.

prayer

Father,
again I face a lack of words.
so take these sighs and heaviness of heart
and make them in to something only you can use.

Wont you please teach my heart how to love.
I dont need empty words
or whispers of wishing all well

Father,
I need the kind that always hopes,
suffers all and has faith in all.

Jesus, if only you could confirm me.
Though I know,
otherwise they wouldnt be called
steps of faith.

writers block

its been a long time.
and its stupid how the break makes it harder to write anything.
share anything.

but here I am.

Im on my jobless, homeless wanderings.
Ive been to turku, helsinki and tampere.
seeing friends, praying, getting to know people,
having fun.

all the alternatives for the future seem exciting, and
Im just trying to settle my heart and be able to hear,
what am I supposed to do.

all the doors are possible.
Im glad, I know a man who is willing to be in control of the doors in my life.
so I guess this is time of waiting.

my days of exile are gone soon, Ive heard.
may the old be gone, may the new spring.