snow.

yesterday was a day off.
me and my flatmates, tytti and milka went to this israel-day.
both me and tytti are interested on going to israel next year for our
international practical training.

the thing was held in two different places, and as we changed the place and were waiting
for the program to begin, there was a young guy and an older man coming to the congregation where it was held. the older man wanted to be prayed for. Im guessing he had somekind on mental illness, but he seemed quite safe anyways. well, the lady at the door directed them to the other place, where they held the meetings. (welcome to church everyone :))

tytti ran after them to ask, if they even knew where the place was, and they didnt. so we went with them and promised to pray for the man. and in the end we did. he was a bit messy in his thinking, but boy he knew how to pray. as he prayed for real sisters and brothers and not only people who tap him on the back I really felt horrible being a part of Christs body and not acting like it.

then the man said he would now hed off and walk to rovaniemi. its a city in lappland, hundreds of kilometres from helsinki. and as tytti asked him if he is really going to walk all that way, the man almost got upset and thought we were ridiculing him.

so there we were. three girls in our early twenties with a man in his fifties, who wanted to walk to rovaniemi. and was apparently ill in his mind. and we had no idea what to do. I was kind of restless. and couldnt say (and not sure can still) if it was cause of my fear and hopeleness in the situation, or cause God was trying to say we needed to get back to the congregation place and ask about the training before it was too late.

in the end a man we knew a bit appeared there, and started to talk with us to this man, and then we left them and got to the place where the people where who knew about the opportunities to go to israel. my peace returned immediately as we left the man. but Im not sure what it tells me, or does it tell anything.

anyways the whole thing got me thinking. quite many things even.
firstly how I just really need to hear Jesus´voice in situations. and learn to regocnize and discern it. cause like Jesus said, He only did what He saw the Father doing. so is it everytime my responsibility as a christian to help everybody, and to what extend, or can there be situations where Jesus doesnt want me to do anything?

also read from the Bible this morning how we serve God according to the spirit, not according to the law. so just thought that if I help out someone only cause I feel that I should cause I am a christian, is it helping "according to the law"? and cause I am Gods child, I should be led by the spirit and serve by the spirit, could it be, that it would mean, that I am led to serve as well? also I realized that there is a danger on helping out people only to avoid being labeled a bad christian, to please others, so basically to give out a hypocrite picture of youself. (oh this dear human life)well, I know, someone can read this whole thing with horror thinking I am saying that we should only help out people when we feel like it, but thats not what I mean. and this is not even somekind of theology I am presenting here. just wondering ( just making sure that you wont get worried about me and my doctrines :))

and then again, of course got me thinking this whole church business. but enough said about that I guess :)

time and time again recently I have ended up admitting how little I know about how to live as Jesus intended, and how little I understand about God. but I really would like to know. so maybe thats a start.