about the training and school

so my practical training in one of Helsinkis lutheran congregations has started. week behind, six to go. God gave me some attitude forming couple of days before I started.
All this processing and re-thinking church has a danger to create an arrogant attitude in my heart towards "the traditional church" (or how ever I should call it, anyways)
Ive wanted to get rid of those arrogant thoughts, carrying them to God. then one evening I was listening to a song, where a guy sang something like this: sitting in this waiting room, Lord I know that if I change my mind, you will change my heart in time.

then during the next days after that God spoke to me about my practical training through few friends. and it was kind of amazing. you know, when the Holy Spirit comes and shows you your sins, but not in a way that condemns or puts you down. its not possible for me to create a pure heart within, but as I carry the thoughts to God and have a willing spirit and heart, He does the job in his time. thanks Jesus.

and I just love my friends who have the wisdom to encourage and even rebuke me a bit when its needed :) As Ive probably written earlier, Ive had some serious trouble to find my motivation to study this autumn. wondering if I am only wasting time sitting in this school where I am at. but as I wrote to a friend in a letter I sent him, Ive started to think that this is my time in the desert before going in front of pharaoh, my years in jail before being what was dreamed and years being a shepherd before being what I was anointed for. (not that I seriously think that the school is as bad as a jail, but I quess you get the picture) and I quess its not a waste of time. And yes, I know that if I am in Gods timing, anything isnt a waste of time. ever.