snow.

yesterday was a day off.
me and my flatmates, tytti and milka went to this israel-day.
both me and tytti are interested on going to israel next year for our
international practical training.

the thing was held in two different places, and as we changed the place and were waiting
for the program to begin, there was a young guy and an older man coming to the congregation where it was held. the older man wanted to be prayed for. Im guessing he had somekind on mental illness, but he seemed quite safe anyways. well, the lady at the door directed them to the other place, where they held the meetings. (welcome to church everyone :))

tytti ran after them to ask, if they even knew where the place was, and they didnt. so we went with them and promised to pray for the man. and in the end we did. he was a bit messy in his thinking, but boy he knew how to pray. as he prayed for real sisters and brothers and not only people who tap him on the back I really felt horrible being a part of Christs body and not acting like it.

then the man said he would now hed off and walk to rovaniemi. its a city in lappland, hundreds of kilometres from helsinki. and as tytti asked him if he is really going to walk all that way, the man almost got upset and thought we were ridiculing him.

so there we were. three girls in our early twenties with a man in his fifties, who wanted to walk to rovaniemi. and was apparently ill in his mind. and we had no idea what to do. I was kind of restless. and couldnt say (and not sure can still) if it was cause of my fear and hopeleness in the situation, or cause God was trying to say we needed to get back to the congregation place and ask about the training before it was too late.

in the end a man we knew a bit appeared there, and started to talk with us to this man, and then we left them and got to the place where the people where who knew about the opportunities to go to israel. my peace returned immediately as we left the man. but Im not sure what it tells me, or does it tell anything.

anyways the whole thing got me thinking. quite many things even.
firstly how I just really need to hear Jesus´voice in situations. and learn to regocnize and discern it. cause like Jesus said, He only did what He saw the Father doing. so is it everytime my responsibility as a christian to help everybody, and to what extend, or can there be situations where Jesus doesnt want me to do anything?

also read from the Bible this morning how we serve God according to the spirit, not according to the law. so just thought that if I help out someone only cause I feel that I should cause I am a christian, is it helping "according to the law"? and cause I am Gods child, I should be led by the spirit and serve by the spirit, could it be, that it would mean, that I am led to serve as well? also I realized that there is a danger on helping out people only to avoid being labeled a bad christian, to please others, so basically to give out a hypocrite picture of youself. (oh this dear human life)well, I know, someone can read this whole thing with horror thinking I am saying that we should only help out people when we feel like it, but thats not what I mean. and this is not even somekind of theology I am presenting here. just wondering ( just making sure that you wont get worried about me and my doctrines :))

and then again, of course got me thinking this whole church business. but enough said about that I guess :)

time and time again recently I have ended up admitting how little I know about how to live as Jesus intended, and how little I understand about God. but I really would like to know. so maybe thats a start.

just how I am doing

Im doing good.
my practical training is going great, Im enjoying it much more than I thought!
for example I just heard today Im going to have a kind of morning devotion in
high school tomorrow. quite cool, I can get to have a small talk for about 300 youngsters
about how God wants to spend time with them and loves them.
then on the weekend we have a camp, where there are only women coming.
I get to teach some things from the Bible, and also thought about sharing a bit from this book I just referred to, Captivating.
there still isnt any snow here, but actually I dont mind a bit! its quite enough if it will be snowy from december to march.

and then, I have this really cool hat, or its not a hat hat, and its not a cap I think.. but the kind of a hat you usually wear in the wintertime. Its really old, and has Heinola written in it. thats one quite small city here in finland. and its cool cause it just gave me two conversations yesterday!
one, a bit drunken man started to talk to me about it yesterday at the railway station (and I just thought how sad it is, that almost the only time finnish people talk to strangers is when they are drunk.. what a nice culture we have ) and then also as I walked home, a guy started to talk to me cause he commented on my hat. that was nice. its funny how things like talking to strangers makes my heart alive. but it really does.

so nothing much going on in my life, as you can see. rejoicing over a hat.

not a girl, not yet a woman.

had a nice weekend last weekend. I was again in Turku,
spent time with my friends hanna and kaisu. at their household they have been reading this book called "captivating" (about beauty and womanhood)
so we ended up reading it together and talking about it and praying the things we were talking and sharing.
the book talks quite a lot about beauty. how every woman has beauty to unveil, based on the fact that we are created by God to be his images. and also it spoke a lot about Gods nature, and what we can learn about God by looking at women. like how the fact that almost every woman wants to be romanced, wants to be needed and part of some adventures and is beautiful, tells us that God is like that as well :) God is propably the biggest romantic there is, cause he invented it :) , romances us by lavishing his perfect love over our lifes, defenitely wants to be needed and a part of our life, and even more, giving us adventures with him. and He is beautiful.
and one thing we thought about during the weekend was what makes one a woman, not a girl? what is the different between those two and so on. one biggest thing we thought is this some kind of confidence. knowing who one is, whatever the place or the situation. also the ability to be genuine is one thing. thinking about my own journey I dont quite know where I am at, somewhere in between.

the book suggested that with every woman you should ask the question: what is she telling me about God? I think that would be a good question thinking not only women but men also. Of course Ive always realized that women and men are different, but never actually so much thought that our differencies reveal different things about God. but now thinking it, of course. cause we all were made to his image.
In the book I read from mother teresa, there was a similar thought. she spoke, how instead of going to the poor to be Jesus for them, she goes to meet Jesus in them. to have eyes and a heart like that!

be-attitudes

blessed are the clueless for they wont lean on their own understanding
blessed are those who cant for they will be used
blessed are the loosers for they will gain
blessed are the unready for they will bear fruit

blessed are those who have no record of their own for they will be recommended
blessed are the faceless nobodies for they will bear the image of God

blessed are the small for through them big things will happen
blessed are those carrying a burden for they will have heirs
blessed are the ones who dont own a thing for theirs is everything
blessed are those living in the unstable for they will see the unshaken

blessed are those walking in the wilderness for they will come out leaning
blessed are those in a storm for they will walk upon the waters
blessed are those walking in the darkness for they will learn to trust

blessed are the dying for they will live
blessed are the fools for they will have a King.

from a book

dadda, dadda, its dark! Im afraid!""
dark? nonsense, child. its as bright as day in here"
"it is?"
"it is. open your eyes"
"my eyes? they arent open?"
"not if you cant see the kingdom.
not if you cant see the light. open your eyes."
"ouch!"
"what?"
"I touched my eye. it is open, dadda"
He chuckled. "open your other eyes son. the eyes of your heart. you will see that it is very light in here. its always light in the kingdom of God"

auntie again

hey, just wanted to tell that my sister is a fresh mom. got two beautiful girls yesterday. thank you Jesus!

smiles

I read a book about mother theresa, and she spoke about smile.
and will wrote about it in his blog couple of weeks ago.

I remembered a scene that happened me while I was in london,
its really a shame I had let it slipped off my mind.

a homeless boy was selling the big issue-magazine at the tube station.
people passed him by without any response when he offered his magazine.
I too passed him by, smiling a bit apologizing, only just to meet him and saying
sorry for not buying his sellings. the boy yelled after me:
thank you for not ignoring me.

it stayed with me a long time.

its amazing how hard it can be to smile to a person you dont know, just walking down the street. but when you do, it really is worth it. and also amazing to think how little is needed to not to ignore people.